Give Me Your Heart
by silent-stars-go-by
Summary: I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to feel anything at all, never again. So tear out my heart. I don't want it anymore. Jacob/Edward, as requested.
1. Chapter 1

**Heart**

_J__acob's POV_

Tear out my heart. I don't want it anymore. It is a burden, nothing more. Emotions are weaknesses, not privileges, not humanity, nothing but a compromising weight that's _crushing _me all the time and I _just can't take it anymore! _This _love _is messing with me, playing with me like a puppet with no regard for my sanity. This _love_ is seeping into my every thought and opinion, clouding and tainting them until I cannot be exactly sure _why _I'm doing something. Am I protecting the one I love because I don't want him to get hurt, or because I couldn't live without him? He doesn't know it, but I'm always watching out for him. I would give my life for him; lay it down without a second thought, even if he would care nothing over the action. Even if he were to leave my body laying there and continue on happily, not being affected at all. I do my best to protect him from the rest of my pack, for I know that they are just waiting for the chance to tear out all of the vampires' throats, just as I once was. But now the very thought of anyone harming Edward sends a bolt of terror and fear coursing through my veins.

Fate has a _really _twisted sense of humour. I mean, why _me_? Why couldn't all of this pain and chaos get thrown onto someone else's shoulders, instead of mine? Why am I a slave to my own heart? I don't want to love him. I don't _want _to feel this way. But no matter how hard I try to fight it, to deny it, to convince myself otherwise, my efforts are weak and uncommitted because the truth is I _do _want to love him. Deep down, I know it's true. I know I want to be held in his cold arms. I know I want to feel his icy skin soothing my feverish own, completing each other. Fire and ice coming together, cancelling out the hate and the prejudice. And I know that I want more than anything to twist my hand through his tangled copper locks and kiss him in a hungry, passionate embrace. But I also know that this will never happen. He can't even stand the sight of me. And he can't ever know how I feel otherwise he will look at me with even more disgust than there already is in those beautiful golden eyes. It pains me whenever I see him with _Bella. _Oh how I wish I could take her place by his side, take place of her lips on his. So I keep my thoughts well hidden, locked far away out of his telepathic reach, should he go probing into my shattered mind. I've managed to keep my feelings a secret from the rest of the pack, kept it far out of my thoughts when in wolf form, concentrating on nothing but the task at hand and blocking everything and everyone else out. But I don't know how much more of this I can take. It _hurts_. It just hurts so much to know that he'll never tell me how much he loves me and look at me with eyes brimming with affection and warmth. A part of me wishes that I could just throw my love for him aside, and just forget everything that has gone before, and begin again as a simpler being. To succumb to the animal inside and become one with the wolf. The only thing on my mind will be my next kill. The only need will be shelter and food. The only desire will be the thrill of the hunt.

Rip my heart out mercilessly, cruelly, but leave not a single shred behind. Break me from its wretched bonds and liberate me. I don't want to be under its control, having it twisting me this way and that and beating me until I'm so unrecognizable. You can do what you want with the pieces, the damaged, broken pieces; they won't be of any use. They're too ruined to work, to function correctly. Too battered by a fruitless love. Just take it as far away as possible from me so I can never be tempted to place it back into my empty shell. And while you're at it, steal my soul, because I don't want to live like this any longer. Give them both to Edward, so he can see the truth. Let him be repulsed by my love for him, I just want this burden to leave my weary shoulders. My sanity is slowly bleeding away because of him, and he doesn't even know it. He has no _idea _of what he is doing to me, and if he did, he wouldn't care. He couldn't possibly ever feel the same way. Yet in spite of all this, there is still a tiny, determined scrap of hope I find myself clinging desperately onto, and it's killing me.

I don't want to _feel_. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to feel anything at all, ever again.

_So tear out my heart. I don't want it anymore._

* * *

_Edward's POV_

How is it possible to love someone you barely know, someone you supposedly hate, so much? How is it possible to love hearing the voice of someone who only speaks to you with contempt and malice? Or long to see their eyes fall upon you, even if they are filled with hate and repulsion? To lust after someone who's heart has already been claimed by another, even if that other does not love them back? This is not love; it is the cruelest torture, to love someone without hope, and the desperation of it all will torment me for eternity. I thought I was happy: I thought I was already in love but now I realize how foolish and naïve I was. That was infatuation, a passing burst of desire that has since burned away and my heart has fallen for another. It has fallen hard, fallen so far that I don't even see how I'll manage to come out this depth of despair. All throughout the lonely days I think of him, picturing his face and imagining our life together. I realize that these false realities only cut me deeper, but I don't care: if we are happy together in my thoughts, then I'll take what I can get. I imagine touching his strong, russet skin, tracing the contours of muscle and flesh. I imagine looking into those deep meaningful eyes, dark by circumstance but not by nature. I imagine that his face lights up with a joyous grin when he sees me, instead of a hateful scowl. I imagine running my hands through his soft dark hair, wet with rain, and I imagine our lips touching with just the most feather-like of kisses. It pains me to know that this will never happen, but these gentle fantasies keep me going through my endless life, and I am quietly grateful that it is I who was gifted with telepathy, and not any other member of my family. I silently hope that one day Alice will have a vision of me that disappears into a pool of swirling black, for that means that the wolves are involved. And it is one wolf in particular I am hoping for. _Jacob._

I relish every moment that we happen to cross paths, drinking him in: his rich russet skin, his strong defined jaw and muscular frame, his confident posture and cocky, arrogant words and insults. It is his eyes that captivate me the most: so deep and dark, almost haunted, but overflowing with emotion, and most of all, pain. Pain that Bella has chosen me over him, or so it appears, because just of late it has become increasingly difficult to read his mind. His thoughts are so frantic and erratic, and dark and heavy, constantly rushing around, or focusing on one irrelevant thing. Maybe he is hiding something from me. A plan to take Bella away from me, perhaps? I sometimes consider the thought of leaving Bella so that the two of them can be together, because all I want more than anything is for him to be happy, and if he will be happy with someone else, then so be it. I can live with that, for even if he ever felt the same way, we could never be together. We would be hunted because of our love. We are enemies, sworn by destiny to hate and fight one another to the death. I don't know why it has to be that way, but it is. Besides, it doesn't matter. Because my love for him will never be reciprocated. I have been doomed to live a long and lonely life, never to be loved by the one that I would give anything for.

The thought of him spreads warmth into my still, dead heart, and it feels so good…but it _hurts. _My love for Jacob kills me inside, but I refuse to try to move on, even though it is for the better. So maybe I'm masochistic, but when I'm looking at him, none of it matters. I would die a thousand deaths for him, carry all of his burdens for him and take all of his pain for him.

If only Jacob would give me his heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Dreams**

_Jacob's POV_

Sometimes I dream of him. I'll be out walking through the forest in the dead of night, with the moonlight streaming gently through the canopy, carving me a path, and Edward will walk out from the darkness, golden eyes shining bright and pure. He'll say my name, and I'll say his, his whisper sending shivers crawling along my skin. In a flash he is no more than a foot in front of me, and he takes my hand in his. His touch is electric; it jolts me into a higher state of being and a joyous grin spreads across my face, and when he mirrors my smile in his own dazzling, crooked way, my heart soars. We gaze into each other's eyes for an eternity, before he turns and leads me to a small clearing, a beautiful meadow tucked away in the darkness of the forest. Pastel flowers lie amongst the grass and Edward ever so gently pushes me down, a playful smile etched on his face. He leans forward, tracing burning butterfly kisses along my jaw, slowly making his way from my ear to my eagerly waiting lips. When our lips finally collide, they meet in a frenzied crescendo, forming a deeply passionate kiss, all the emotion welling within us both pouring out. I run my hands through his hair, twisting his copper locks around my fingers, never wanting this moment to end, before, inevitably, we break apart. I stare up into his soulful eyes, feeling happier than I thought it was possible to feel. His lips part, whispering the words I've waited so long to hear. "I love you, Jacob." But before I can reply Edward's face slowly begins to fade away, the whole scene evaporating into darkness and I'm clutching it desperately, crying for him to come back.

I know it's just a dream, but I wish it was a memory.

And sometimes I'll have nightmares. Edward and I will be together, placidly contented, before the sky thunders and the ground shakes, and haunting shadows steal across the land, greedily swallowing up the light and our happiness. Something always comes along then, to take him away from me. Be it Victoria or any other vampires, or the other wolves in my pack. One night it'll be Sam tearing into Edward's sparkling flesh as he is screaming, begging for me to help him, but Quil and Embry are fighting me back no matter how hard I try to get to him. His limbs are torn from him, slung across the field and later set ablaze in a roaring fire, and I'm left with his ashes sprinkled across the ground. The next night, it'll be Victoria ripping his head off, his terrified, pleading eyes staring at me all the while; the next, some unknown entity will wrap him up in a shroud of darkness and steal him away. Every time this happens I wake up screaming, tears streaming my cheeks and I feel so _hollow _and empty inside that I have to check to see if he's alright. To see if it was true.

But I know one thing. This love is slowly driving me insane. I'm hallucinating, seeing Edward in places where I know he's not. Most mornings, when I rouse from my Edward-filled slumber, I see him, standing quietly at the back of the room, or sitting on a chair close to my bedside. We stare at each other, no one speaking, and, disbelieving, I hurriedly blink my eyes to make sure I'm awake. But then he'll be gone, nothing but a flutter of curtains, and loneliness washes over me in such a crashing wave I fall back onto the bed, breathing deeply to try and pull myself together. These hallucinations are so vivid I can even _smell _his scent, dark and sweetly seductive, hanging in the room. I can't believe how weak this love is making me; normally I'd be ashamed, but in truth, I don't really care how pathetic I am. I just know that without this love for Edward I'd feel even emptier than I do now without him, and I wouldn't be able to take its absence.

Every now and then, I will selfishly dream of Bella dying, and I can't help but feel relieved and satisfied when I wake up. I know it's wrong, but this love is all-consuming, and my desperation is taking me over.

I cling onto the dreams, both the good and the bad, running through them in my mind whenever I'm sure he's not around to listen in. Edward's kisses feel so good and uplifting in my dreams, but I wish more than anything to be able to feel them in real life. Just one kiss, one moment together that I could keep with me forever, one perfect fragment of my life to live on. A memory I could replay to chase away all the dark thoughts and the sorrowful heartache. But that's too much to ask for. I'll just have to get by with my dreams.

* * *

_Edward's POV_

I have found a new night time habit. A routine so similar to my old one, I don't risk questions. When the sun sets and the world is plunged into darkness I stealthily make my way onto the Reservation, being careful to avoid any late-night wolf patrols. I keep my distance for a while, hiding up in the dense canopy of trees, listening in to Jacob's thoughts until I'm certain he is asleep. Once assured, I leap silently through his bedroom window, landing noiselessly. I pull up a chair close to the bed that's too small for his lumbering frame, and sit watching him sleep, breathing in his earthy scent. His smell used to repulse me, but now, it is the sweetest scent on this world. His face is swathed in the white light of the moon, and he looks so peaceful. Never like he does when he's awake: his face is always stony and locked down, eyes full of pain, but not now. Now he looks innocent and almost child-like, and it makes my dead heart twinge. I told myself I would not listen to his dreams, for if they were of him and Bella together I do not know if I could withstand it. But after several nights, the temptation is too great, and I reach out for his mind. At first, it is a foggy haze, just a heavy slumber, but then images begin to break through. Some nights, it is trivial, insignificant things, others, he dreams of Bella dying, which I imagine must be nightmarish for him. One night, to my joyful surprise, Jacob was dreaming about walking through the forest on a starry night, and then I appeared and took him to the meadow. Gently, I lay him down on the grass, and we kiss in the most loving way. The image sends a thrill surging through my bloodless veins as I allow myself to indulge in this ethereal moment for just a second before I tear myself free. Shaking my head, I assume my thoughts must have wandered into my own fantasies, for when I peer into his dream again Jacob is lying on the floor crying, surrounded by darkness. But what if it was not conjured by my own imagination, but by his? Could it be possible…? _No, stop it Edward_. He cannot choose of what he dreams; it is far too precarious to place hope in such insubstantial evidence when there is no proof. The fallout will only make this worse, will only widen this void inside of me that only Jacob can fill.

When I first started watching Jacob at night, I left before sunrise, before he was even close to waking up, for fear of being detected by the rest of the pack. But now, I push my luck, trying to capture as much time with him as possible. Sometimes I even dare to let Jacob see me when he stirs awake, confident that his mind will assure him it was still just a dream. When Jacob slowly begins to awaken from his heavy slumber his glazy eyes flicker open, and he sits up numbly, body freezing when he catches sight of me. He stares at me, lips parted like there is something he wants to say, but he never does, which always makes me wonder. This occurrence happens so frequently now I'm surprised he never questions me over it whenever we meet, whether out loud or in thought, but I assume he merely passes it off as a repeated, irritating dream. But surely he cannot deny my scent that must linger in the room? Regardless, every morning I consider the thought of staying just a little longer when he wakes up, just to see his reaction - would it be surprise followed by anger, or by joy? But before anything else can happen I reluctantly jump back out of the window and run in the direction of home.

_Home. _They say home is where the heart is, and if that holds true, then I am in fact running _away _from my home. I would give anything to be able to stay, to not have to leave in the morning and return to the ironic glass house where I 'live'. I do not live when I am there; I only live when I am with Jacob, in person or in thought. My steps are always unwilling, my brain telling me to keep on walking but my heart screaming at me to turn around. _Turn around Edward, just turn around and go back to him! _When I re-enter my house I do not feel welcome or comfortable, despite my family's presence; instead I merely feel out of place. Like I don't belong there.

_Because I belong with Jacob._


	3. Chapter 3

**Thoughts**

_Jacob's POV_

Look at him. With his arms draped around _her_. Talk about rubbing salt into the raw, bleeding wounds of my already broken heart. It can't take much more battering, much more abuse. How is it possible that he has _no _comprehension of how I feel, of how much I'm falling apart? I can feel myself shaking, tremors shivering down my skin; I clench my fists and stare into the distance, concentrating on a point on the horizon. I _can't _phase now, not when I'm feeling like this. The pack will instantly sense my emotions and then they'll know the truth and turn their backs on me, disgusted by my love for the vampire. And then I'll be even more alone than I already am, feel more pain than I already do, because this love for Edward is slowly eating away at me, consuming everything I am. Day by day I feel myself becoming weaker and weaker. I don't know how much more of this I can take, how much longer I can keep this pretense going. My façade is cracked, slowly slipping away, revealing the pathetic, love-sick being that I am. I _have _to tell Edward before I fade away, because soon there'll be nothing left. Only Edward can make me whole again. Only Edward can save me.

He's staring at me now, golden amber eyes so intent and determined. He must be reading my mind. Oh God, does he know?

No. He doesn't. If he did, he would have either run away or sent me sprawling by now. Fear is twisting inside of me, warning me to keep my mouth shut and I listen and duly obey. Of course I can never tell him. Only in my wildest dreams will he ever feel the same way, so what's the point in wearing my battered heart on my sleeve for Edward to smash up into even smaller pieces? He'd probably tell Sam out of spite, hoping that the wolves will chase me away, and then that'll be one problem solved and he'll have Bella all to himself. I've already thought too much, risked a chance of him catching a glimpse of the truth, and I turn and run away from the oh so happy couple like the coward I am. I can hear my blood pounding in my ears as I race through the forest, concentrating on the sound of my feet slamming against the hard, unforgiving earth. I use the sound to centre myself, to ground my whirring emotions and try and restore a mediocre sense of order to them. I _have _to get a handle on this.

_It's not fair_. Why do I have to feel so broken and lonely and _unloved_? I just wish I could go back to how I was before I fell in love with Edward. Back to when I was strong and foolhardy, and foolishly 'in love' with Bella. The pain of her rejection in no way compares to the pain I feel right now. In hindsight, I realize just how _goddamn stupid _I was. I didn't feel this way for Bella. I didn't feel so torn, like I'd been ripped open and had my heart crushed into a state of such disrepair. I feel a manic laugh rise up inside of me, and it ripples out. I laugh at myself, at the situation I'm in; I laugh at the fact that I, a _werewolf_, am in love with a _vampire_, my mortal enemy. I was _designed _to kill his kind; it's in my genes, in my blood, coursing through my veins right now but the thought of me raising a hand to harm him makes me sick to the stomach, so sick I lose concentration and trip, landing on the earth in a clattering heap. And as I lie there, dazed and more than a little bit confused, everything hits home in terrifying clarity: I can't go on like this. I'm weak, a liability, useless to everyone including myself. I'm no good to anybody when my whole existence centres around one being, one being I don't and can never have. And the way I see it, I have two options: I can risk it all, throw myself out there and tell Edward what's really going on, how I really feel about him. After all, he deserves the truth, even if he doesn't reciprocate my feelings (and a small, persistent part of me hopes he _does_). _Or _I can run away, start again in a new town far away, or maybe even completely succumb to the animal. It's far too tempting, the promise of the wolf. At first, I regarded my ability to phase into a wolf as a curse, then it become a blessing, and all too quickly it became a curse again. So maybe I can take advantage of it now, to help myself. If I stay as a wolf long enough, there's a chance I will get so lost I may forget Edward, and this ever-present ache in my chest will go away. But…_could_ I forget him? This love has changed me, perhaps irrevocably, so can I ever go back?

_I don't know_. All these ideas and thoughts and feelings and decisions all flooding through my head in a cacophony, a dizzying crescendo and I _just don't know!_ Too much, just too much, I can't think, not like this…so I _scream_. I scream out all my heartache and anguish and sorrow, indecision and fear spilling out in a pained shriek that echoes through the deserted forest, mirroring my desolate downfall into oblivion.

I thought that maybe I could get lost in the wolf, but how can I?

I'm already lost.

* * *

_Edward's POV_

My arm is slung casually around Bella's shoulder, but it feels wrong, _unnatural_, wooden. It takes every ounce of willpower to keep myself from pulling it away. I have to keep up appearances, for everyone's sake – I can't be the cause of disruptions and rifts within my own family, and the treaty we have the wolves is precarious enough as it is already without me professing my love for the would-be Alpha. That would only cause a war between two sides, would only lead to bloodshed, and I cannot have that weighing down on my conscience as well as everything else. This love is burden enough, and I know what pain it would cause Jacob if one of his brother's were to fall victim to my family's attack. Of course, my family would only be defending themselves, as Carlisle would do everything in his power to keep peace, but I believe should this occasion ever arise, then peace will be unachievable. Only madness would descend, unadulterated mindless violence derived from prejudice and fear. _Chaos_.

I don't need to read his thoughts to know how he's feeling. Anger and jealously is practically dripping right off him. But when I reach into his mind I find it blank. In fact, when I turn to follow his gaze I find he's focusing on a cluster of trees far off into the distance. Again, Jacob is trying to hide something from me. _But what? _Frustration floods through me and I find myself delving deeper and deeper into his mind, desperate to find out what he is trying so valiantly to bury. His ability to keep his thoughts and feelings hidden from me amazes me, as no one with a readable mind has managed to achieve that in my presence. Another credit to Jacob's strength.

But his concentraion slips, and a flicker of emotion slips through. His thoughts are scattered and incomprehensible. Images of Sam, Bella and I flicker through his mind before dissipating in a whirlpool of anguish. Is Bella being with me instead of him hurting him _this much_? Is it the cause of that never-ending pain in his eyes? If so, I would gladly let go of Bella in a heartbeat. Anything to take that pain away. Because looking in those wounded eyes, listening in to his damaged thoughts, it breaks me inside. I can't bear to see him hurting like that. I don't want to be the cause of his pain, only the solution. My heart grows impossibly heavier and wearier to know that it will never be I that comforts him. It'll never be my shoulder he cries on, never be my arms that wrap around him and hold him, never be me rocking him gently back and forth till all the world fades away and there's nothing left but him and me.

I watch him turn away in grief, watch him flee into the forest behind, and I listen to him, hear him pounding viciously through the undergrowth, his thoughts even more erratic than before. I can hear him shouting at himself in his thoughts, telling him to regain control of himself, but this strange wild surge floods through him, overriding the voice of sanity, of reason. Bella turns to me, confusion etched in her delicate features, and I gaze upon her, knowing in my heart that I don't love her anymore. If I ever truly did. I shake my head, tell her something's come up, and I have to go. She nods slowly, and I catch the dejected look in her eyes as she walks away. Yes, I suppose it is decided then. It would be better for all involved if I were to leave her. It is not fair to her to keep on living this lie. It is not fair to myself, if I should deserve fairness. Eventually she will heal, and Jacob will help her to; he will give her everything I cannot and they shall grow old together, sharing a happy, fulfilled life. Without realizing, I find my feet carrying me into the forest, treading through the wake that Jacob left. I go at a leisurely human pace, the sluggishness of which would normally be irksome, but for now, I revel in it, enjoying the calm before the storm.

I tell myself that I am only going this way for convenience, for a scenic change to my usual route. And, if I should run into Jacob on my way, that will be okay; I can explain my plans to him. I won't explain my reasons, of course, but that's just details that won't matter to him anyway. He won't care _why _I'm leaving - he'll just care that I _am_.

A horrific, anguished scream brings me crashing down out of my reverie into harsh, stark reality. I'm disorientated at first, the cry still ringing round in my head. There's so much pain and confusion and despair riding that one sound that it would make my blood turn icy cold if I were to have any. A hollow, frightened chasm opens in my chest as with a startling jolt I realize just who made that sound. _Jacob._

All my senses hone down onto him, his scent and his thoughts leading the way, drawing me inexplicably too him. What if he's hurt; what if he's been attacked? Would he want me to save him, or would his pride takeover? What's wrong with him? What could cause him to cry out like that, in such sheer _agony_?

I don't know, but I do know that I'm going to find out.

_I'm coming Jacob._


	4. Chapter 4

**_So__ sorry that this chapter took so long to get up. Art coursework kinda eats up all of my time._**

* * *

**Confrontation**

_Jacob's POV_

The damn is down, the walls are broken. Tears are flooding, wave after wave, all the emotion locked away so carefully inside breaking free and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I can't drag it all back in now, I can't try and close the gates; this is the point of no return and from here on in I've lost control. I've been cracking for a long time now, and I haven't confronted it, just pushed it far away to the dark recesses of my mind, and now look at me.

The world is blurry, seen through a hazy swirling of tears, and I lose all sense of where I am. The trees merge together, leaves dripping below the darkening sky, thick clouds looming in. I don't notice it when the sky tears apart with flashes of a deadly white; I don't notice it when the rain starts lashing against my skin, beating me into submission with its relentless force; I don't notice it when the heavy mournful sound of thunder rolls across the land.

"Jacob."

I _did_ notice that, the way it was spoken so softly, so full of concern, almost inaudible amongst the clamour of the weather. I follow the sound, and see a blurred figure step out of the darkness of the forest. I wipe away my tears so I can see who it is, and when I catch a glimpse of that hauntingly beautiful face the tears come back again, twice as hard. Shivers run up and down my body; I'm shaking so uncontrollably. I'm so damn cold inside and despite my high werewolf temperature I can feel the raised goosebumps and hairs on my arms. I'm broken. _He _broke me, without even knowing it, and now he's here to witness his work. I'm pathetic. _Pathetic. _God, I _loathe _myself. How could I allow myself to become this shriveling, quivering _wreck_? I'm a werewolf for crying out loud, I'm supposed to be strong and brave and loyal and _oh how my heart has forced me to betray my pack. _I allowed the damn leech to worm his way into my every thought, my every heartbeat, slithering in subconsciously. I don't even know when it all started, when I realized that I was _falling in love with Edward damn him Cullen._

I hear a strangled, choking sound from across the clearing, and I am reminded of _his _presence.

Anger flares through me, directed both at myself and at him, and I find that rage has burned my tears away and everything is glaringly bright and lucid. Every hint of weariness has been purged from me, and I feel so alive, alert. Without realizing how I got there, I find that I'm back on my feet, snarling, only inches from the vampire's face. _Screw it. I don't care what he thinks or how he reacts or even who he tells, or what he does to me; I'm doing this right here, right now_. I'm not hiding it any longer. I don't care what happens after this. I wouldn't even care if he _killed me_. Wouldn't blink, wouldn't flinch. In fact, the action would be welcome to me, almost merciful.

I square up to him, every muscle tensed and pulsing, staring right into those damn _beautiful _eyes. "I have something to say to you." I pause, drinking in his expression. Hell, if he's just been listening in to my thoughts, then he probably already knows. But I have to say it out loud. That will make it final, make it _real_. "Don't say anything till I'm finished. I don't want to hear it. You're going to be a good little vampire and _listen_." His eye twitched slightly. I took a deep breath, feebly trying to prepare myself. Doubt and hesitation wrenched my gut, twisting my insides as anxiety crept up unbidden. No, I can't come this far and not do it. It's now or never. "I love you." The words came out in such a rush, and I found myself carrying on with an explanation, as if I was trying to justify myself. "I love you, okay? Believe me, I _don't want to_, but there it is, and I've tried everything not to love you. _But I can't_." The last sentence came out in a choked whisper, and I desperately tried to swallow back the tears that threatened to return. Well, my newfound strength didn't last long. "I know it's wrong, and probably forbidden by some ancient law, but I can't help it." I take a step back, hands raised in surrender. "So punish me. Kill me. I won't fight, I won't resist." I watch his eyes widen in what appears to be shock, almost horror. "It'll make things easier for you, for Bella, your family, my pack, and even for me. So just do it. I won't be a problem to you anymore. Let me do this one thing for you, and in return, do something for me. Make it quick. I know you may want to make me hurt, but please, make it quick." There. I'd told him that I loved him, and, well, a helluva lot more. But that's it. I've said my part, released what I've kept locked up so tight for so long. And now it's up to Edward to make the final move, to end this once and for all.

With one last look at Edward's face, I close my eyes, and wait for death to claim me.

* * *

_Edward's POV_

Rain pours down out of nowhere, instantly soaking me through despite the thick leafy canopy, but it is of no consequence to me. The only thing that matters is that I get to Jacob. His scent gets stronger, his cries louder as I draw near, but thankfully, I can smell no blood. _Then why did he scream like that? _I can still hear it, echoing around and around in my mind, and I am deadly positive that the sound will haunt me for a long time to come.

And then I break into a clearing, and the sight before me sends me crashing to a halt: Jacob is sitting on the ground, curling in on himself. Heavy sobs cause his body to shake violently, his flesh shuddering with some unknown pain. It takes every last drop of resolve to stop myself from running over there and taking him in my arms. But instead I hold back, and watch from the trees. Either he hasn't heard me, or he does not wish to acknowledge my presence. I can hear him murmuring to himself, "_Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic,_" over and over like a mantra, but it doesn't take me more than a second to realize that it's his thoughts that are worth hearing, not this self-deprivation. Taking a delving probe in, I can instantly feel so much pain latched on to every thought, and, without thinking, I take a few steps into the clearing. "Jacob."

I observe him freeze at the sound of my voice, before he glances up at me with teary, anguished eyes. He doesn't say anything, and neither do I, no matter how much I want to. I want to get him to talk to me, to tell me what's wrong, but I know he'll never do that. So, as his eyes become awash with a fresh wave of tears, I content myself with listening in to his thoughts, hoping to chisel out some glimmer of information, some way to help ease his pain.

"_I'm broken. He broke me, without even knowing it, and now he's here to witness his work."_

Oh God, this is all my fault. I'm the cause of all his pain. How I've treated him. Because I'm with Bella.

"_God, I loathe myself. How could I allow myself to become this shriveling, quivering wreck?"_

My heart twinges, but I force myself to carry on listening. I _have _to know for sure.

"_I don't even know when it all started, when I realized that I was falling in love with Edward damn him Cullen."_

Every coherent thought dissolves in an instant, and I find myself choking on air. _He fell in love with me_? No, I couldn't have heard that right. Could not possibly have done. I attempt to pull myself together, trying to quell the fire of hope that has sprung forth within me, but it refuses to die, no matter how much I reason with myself that the disappointment will hurt so impossibly much. I start to focus back in on his thoughts, and they seem louder. Is he shouting at himself in his mind? But then I blink and look up, right into his haunted eyes. When did he get so close?

"I have something to say to you." The words are spoken with conviction and determination, but I can still pinpoint the subtle undertone of when his voice cracks on the last word. "Don't say anything till I'm finished. I don't want to hear it. You're going to be a good little vampire and _listen_."

It took a relatively great amount of effort to prevent myself from rolling my eyes, despite the situation. It's just the typical kind of thing he'd say, and I realize with a shock that he said that with no real venom in his words. Looking back sharply on every time they've exchanged insults, my memories tell me that there never has been any real malice, at least not for a long time.

"I love you."

He said it, he _just_ said it. _It's true_. It _has _to be. I'm not imagining this, am I? Is it merely just a cruel illusion?

"I love you, okay? Believe me, I _don't want to_, but there it is, and I've tried everything not to love you. _But I can't_."

No, this is real, so unbelievably real and he just said he loves me and it's all there in his thoughts, the _truth_, and oh how my heart feels like it's beating again!

"I know it's wrong, and probably forbidden by some ancient law, but I can't help it."

I watch with confusion clouding my joy as he takes a step back, his hands raised skyward. In surrender?

"So punish me. Kill me. I won't fight, I won't resist."

I can physically feel my face go rigid with shock and fear. Why was he suggesting such a thing? How could he possibly think I could do that to him?

"It'll make things easier for you, for Bella, your family, my pack, and even for me. So just do it. I won't be a problem to you anymore. Let me do this one thing for you, and in return, do something for me. Make it quick. I know you may want to make me hurt, make me suffer, but please, make it quick."

He closes his eyes and stands still, and that's when a hundred thousand puzzle pieces click into place. He _doesn't know_, not even in the slightest. At the realization, I _feel _like killing him for his sheer stupidity and _blindness_, before kicking myself internally when it hits me that it is I who is blind and stupid. I, the vampire with _mind-reading abilities _could not discern where his heart truly lay.

I stare at Jacob for a long while, knowing that he is waiting for me to kill him.

My head dancing with thoughts, I make a final decision, and my hands dart out for him.


	5. Chapter 5

_**I'm so sorry for the inexcusable delay this update has taken. Since going back to school, it's been so hectic. Exam after exam...and then my rabbits decided that my computer cables were tasty treats for them to munch through. Anyway, enough of my woes, and on with the show, if anyone still reads/remembers this.**_

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Eternity.

_Jacob's POV_

Two strong, firm hands clamped down on my shoulders, and I found myself pulled forwards, into him, pressed into his icy chest. I waited for the pain that never struck me down, and instead felt icy cool lips press into mine, hungry and passionate and relentless. When his lips released mine, I opened my eyes in confusion, daring to hope, daring to dream, but not daring to breathe. I didn't want to shatter this moment, have it slip through my fingers if I spoke a word. Warm amber eyes, _Edward's eyes_, stared into mine, filled with such affection I'd only ever seen him direct at Bella. With our bodies locked so close together, I felt his chest reverberate when he spoke.

"Jacob," he said, a smile dancing on his face, and god how I loved to hear him say my name without spite, without the bite that he usually reserved for me. "I'm not going to kill you."

My mind was still wheeling from the kiss, thoughts racing at a mile a minute, and I had to concentrate hard to process what he was saying.

"Do you want to know why?"

I found myself nodding numbly, feeling disjointed from my body.

Edward's hands slide up my neck to cup my face, his thumb tracing paths along my jaw. "Because I love you too. I just can't believe how stupid I am for not realizing how you felt sooner. I could've spared you so much heartache." His eyes turned sorrowful, remorse plaguing his marble features as he watched me; my breath hitched in my throat, and I felt my eyes prickling in the corners. Did he just say he loves me? Did I hear that right? God I must be even madder than I thought if-

"No," Edward interjected my train of erratic thoughts, skipping from track to track. "This is real, _I'm _real; you're not mad…except perhaps for loving me." That ghost of a smile was back on his lips, never full, and I felt a burning desire within me to _make _it full. I wanted to see it reach his depthless eyes, I wanted to see perfection. _Edward is perfection._

He leant down to ghost his lips along my neck, sending a myriad of shivers rolling over my skin. My fingers found their way into his hair, twisting the copper locks round and round. "You really love me?" I breathed, a spark of warmth glimmering inside of me, ready to burst into a fire.

Edward smiled again, stroking my cheek gently with his thumb. "Yes. I do. With every fibre of my being." And there it was, that roar of a flame leaping inside of me. I don't think I've ever felt this way; in his arms, I feel more at peace than I'd ever felt. It was a breathtaking feeling, one I wanted to experience over and over. A grin stretched my cheeks. "I love you too."

With my words, I saw Edward's face soften to one of contentment, and he pulled me closer, so our foreheads were touching. He looked me in the eye as he spoke, words laced with a determined promise. "I'm never going to let you go. I don't care what this brings. This love is too real to give up. I can't let you slip through my fingers." My grin relaxed into a peaceful smile.

"Good." I said, pressing a gentle kiss into his cheek. "Because I never want to lose you. Not now that you're here."

He slipped his hand into mine, weaving them together, and slowly walked over to a nearby tree, sitting down together so I rested on his chest. Feeling suddenly overwhelmed by it all, I fell into his embrace so eagerly. When his arms wrapped around me, I placed my hands on his, committing this moment to memory. But, after a few minutes of companionable silence, a sudden thought struck me. As soon as the idea occurred, Edward confronted it.

"I know what you're thinking," he said, his breath ghosting my ear, "This may possibly cause a war between your people and my own. But, if it's necessary, we will do what needs to be done. We could run away together. No one would even have to know why. My family would hurt for a while, and so would your pack. But they will heal in time and move on."

He was forgetting a certain person that would certainly not heal, not if last time was anything to go by. "What about Bella?"

"I don't know," Edward said, sounding so unsure. "We'll think of something."

Unconvinced, I turned to face him. "But you didn't see how she was when you left," I protested. "She only showed signs of getting better by spending time with me."

"Jacob, this is a good thing for Bella. This…this isn't the life for her. I can't believe how foolish I was to ever think of bringing her into it."

"She's still my friend, despite all of this."

"I know," Edward said; I felt him nodding. "Let's not think about if for now. Just enjoy this moment."

"Okay," I murmured, resigning to the promise of comfort in his arms, but I felt a tremor shake his chest and a breathy laugh tickle my ear.

Perplexed, I asked him what was funny, but received an annoyingly vague answer. But I'd know in time, that and a lot more. I couldn't wait to find out everything about him for myself, and not just what Bella has told me. To be able explore, learn, to be able to read every quirk of the eyebrow and twitch so well it would almost as if I can read minds too. And that's what I wanted more than anything, to be a big a part of him as he is to me. Now I'm on my way there, to that perfection, and I've never felt such hope, such promise. This is the beginning of our forever.

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_Edward's POV_

I stopped a foot away from him, clamping my hands down on his strong shoulders, and pulling him close towards me. _This is it. The moment I've been waiting for. The moment I would've dreamt of, if I could dream. _Our lips collided; it was clumsy, but beautiful, all passion and heat racing and mixing together desperately. Reluctantly, I pulled away, but only far enough so I could gaze into his eyes, wanting him to see everything I felt.

"Jacob," I said, loving the feel of our bodies close together, his warmth cancelling out my chill, "I'm not going to kill you." He seemed too shocked to respond, so I continued, "Do you want to know why?" When he nodded, I moved my hands up to his face, resting my fingers on his jaw line. "Because I love you too. I just can't believe how stupid I am for not realizing how you felt sooner. I could've spared you so much heartache." When I spoke, guilt flooded through me, but I pushed the self-pity aside when I heard his thoughts. "No," I said forcefully, willing him to understand. "This is real, _I'm _real; you're not mad…except perhaps for loving me."

I smiled, and leant closer to press light kisses into his neck. To my greatest delight, I felt his fingers twist their way into my hair, rolling the locks around.

"You really love me?" Jacob asked, breath warm on my ear.

I smiled, stroking his cheek gently. "Yes. I do. With every fibre of my being." It was the most honest confession I'd ever said, and I felt a huge weight rise from my shoulders.

"I love you too," Jacob whispered, grinning.

When his face lit up like that, it took my breath away. That genuine smile coupled with the confession of his love made me feel _so alive_. "I'm never going to let you go," I whispered, pressing our foreheads together. "I don't care what this brings. This love is too real to give up. I can't let you slip through my fingers." I watched as I felt him relax fully into me as his lips danced, feather-light on my cheek.

"Good. Because I never want to lose you. Not now that you're here."

I lead him towards a tree and sat down with my back against it, pulling him down so he leant into me, our bodies fitting together perfectly like they were designed to. Wrapping my arms around him, I held him close, not wanting to relinquish my hold of him. And we sat there, his head resting against mine, oblivious to the world around us. The rain still lashed down and the lightening still tore the sky apart, but we were united at last. Until I felt a jolt of tension shoot through him, and doubt weigh down on his mind.

"I know what you're thinking," I murmured into his ear. "This may possibly cause a war between your people and my own. But, if it's necessary, we will do what needs to be done. We could run away together. No one would even have to know why. My family would hurt for a while, and so would your pack. But they will heal in time and move on."

"What about Bella?" Jacob asked hesitantly.

I found myself puzzled slightly, eyebrows pulling into a slight frown. "I don't know. We'll think of something."

"But you didn't see how she was when you left," Jacob persisted, twisting round to face me. "She only showed signs of getting better by spending time with me."

I pursed my lips, thinking. "Jacob, this is a good thing for Bella. This…this isn't the life for her. I can't believe how foolish I was to ever think of bringing her into it."

"She's still my friend, despite all of this."

"I know," I said, nodding. "Let's not think about it for now. Just enjoy this moment."

"Okay."

I felt a giddy laugh escape me, at the absurdity of it all. A werewolf and a vampire, in love.

"What's so funny?" Jacob asked, confused.

"Nothing," I replied, still chuckling slightly.

I closed my eyes, breathing in his scent, capturing this moment in my mind, this tiny piece of us. This was it, everything I've ever wanted, and everything I never knew I wanted, right here in my arms. For as long as he wants me, I'll be by his side, never wavering. Because together, we can conquer this world, set it alight with our love and watch the passion burn it up.

_**Fini.**_

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_**Soo a massive thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed and favourited this story. You guys rock!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters...**_


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